10 things our fav knights wouldn't say, period
by Lady Knight Keladry
Summary: the real title is '10 things our favorite knights wouldn't be caught dead saying' NO LONGER JUST KNIGHTS! there are chapters full of other characters.
1. Knights

**Disclaimer- I own nothing.**

**_WARNING_-** _For chapters 3 and 5, all chat-speak was done on **PURPOSE!!**_ It's supposed to add to the humor, it was not because I was too lazy to write 'Oh my gosh!!' or 'laugh out loud' or whatever it is. It's a parody, it's supposed to make fun of it, so anything is supposed to go. This fic was up months ago and was deleted by the administration because_ someone_**(you know who you are, even if I don't)** complained to them that fic was against the rules. I'm not exactly sure what it was that made them delete it, although I'm pretty sure it was the chat-speak. So if you don't mind the chat-speak and want a laugh, then continue reading.

**To all who read this before, and to new readers- This fic is almost exactly the way it was up before****, the mentions at the beginning of each chapter about the people who reviewed are still there. **

Originally posted August 8, 2007

10 things our favorite knights wouldn't be caught dead saying

(Knight Edition)

Raoul- When's the next ball? I can't wait!!

Owen- I hate hunting bandits, give me a desk job any day.

Lord Wyldon- You know what? Forget the rules! Let's party!!

Kel- Being a lady knight is overrated. I want to be a lady!!

Neal- I just LOVE vegetables!! Give me all you've got!

Merric- I don't wanna be a chicken. I don't wanna be a duck. So I shake my butt!!

Alanna- Give me ruffles and skirts over a sword any day!!

Quinden- Girls have every right to be knights!

Jon- I want a pink outfit, complete with ruffles and lace, please.

Roald- Fight? Why should I? I'm a prince, I shouldn't have to do anything!!

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A/N- Well? I just went crazy for a moment and had to write this. R&R!


	2. Commoners

Hi!! Since I had a lot of reviews, I decided to branch out. So now there is the commoner version(former commoners included). So thanks to:

**ButterscotchEyes**

**Kaisliana**

**CrazyCorqiLady**

**shufen2 **

**KissMe-ImACountryBabiee**

**GuitarBlonde **

for being my first reviewers!

**Disclaimer: I own no one**.

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10 things our favorite knights wouldn't be caught dead saying

(Commoner Edition)

Stefan- AHHHHHH!! A HORSE!! GET IT AWAY FROM ME!!

Beka- Yo ho!! Yo ho!! A rusher's life for me!!

Daine- HELP!! A DOG!! WAHHHHHHH!!

Lalasa- Oh my gosh!! Isn't that guy CUTE?! Do you think I have a chance?

Rosto- Ewwwwww!! Girl cooties!! Get away!!

Sarge- I don't want to do this anymore! The trainees are bullying me!!

George- I'm a spy! I'm a spy! Somebody kill me!

Tobe- DIE, HORSES, DIE!! MUAHAHAHAHA!!

Numair- But why can't I wear it? I LOVE frilly pink outfits with puppies on them!!

Crookshank- Attention!! I'm going straight. I don't want my money anymore. Whoever wants it, take it!! That'll be all.

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(A/N- I know this was very stupid and probably didn't make sense. Like the other one, I was crazy when I wrote this. You should review anyway.) I'm working on chapter 3, does anyone have any ideas for Lark? She's the only one I need help with.


	3. Circle of Magic

Thanks to all my reviewers!! **Moony's Shady Lady**, _DropletsOfSalt_, **CrazyCorqiLady,** _Grace of Masbolle_**, Lady Saffron of the Daggers**, _Phoenix Fanatic_, **maydayp**, _KissME-ImACountryBabiee_, and **pottere1**. Special thanks to _AmethystDreamer_ and **GuitarBlonde** for reviewing and requesting this chapter!! I hope you like it!!

**_Side note_**- the words that are both underlined and italicized are actions.

**Disclaimer- If you are reading this, then you know it's a fanfic. Therefore, you must know the characters are not mine. I cannot say the same about the stupidity of it all. (Tris's is not mine, it's AmethystDreamer's)**

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10 things our favorite knights wouldn't be caught dead saying

(Circle of Magic Edition)

Niko- Rock out, Dude!! This is totally awesome! --_starts doing air-guitar_--

Frostpine- Why does it have to be so HOT?? Why can't it be cold all the time, like in the north? I miss IT!!

Lark- AARGH!! Get away from my loom or I'll hang you in the well!!

Rosethorn- AWWW!! Look at the wittle baby!! It's soooo CUTE!! --_pinches baby's cheeks_--

Crane- I LOVE YOU ROSETHORN!! WHY MUST YOU BE SO COLD?! WHYYYY?!

Sandry- Like OMG!! Like, what like, happened like, to that like, little like, boy?? --_twirls hair_--

Tris- A book? Thanks, but I'd rather go on a date.

Daja- Now what was I… OOOH!! SHINY!! PRETTY!! YAY!! --_giggles_--

Briar- Why does my magic have to do with _plants?!_ Plants are sooooo boring!!

Berenene- I'm not a heartless --_beep_-- I'm not power-hungry either. I am just _extremely_ misunderstood.

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(A/N- well? I know this isn't as good as the first two, but bear with me. Like the other two, I was crazy when I wrote this. And if you want me to post any that you make, either email me or include it in your review.)

P.S.- For Berenene, I was going for the understatement of the century.

P.P.S.- Does Lark's line sound familiar to anyone??


	4. Gods and Goddesses

Sorry for such a long wait! I was busy with school-related stuff. I have until the 29th all to myself. So on with the show!

Thanks to all my reviewers!! **Tjix**, _Moony's Shady Lady_, **Lady Sapphirea**, _Tearainy_, **Phoenix Fanatic**,_ CONTERRA-SANandBLACKVELVETBAND_, **GuitarBlonde**, _Cede_, **Xx-Hazelnut-xX**_, Lady Knight Jocelyn_, **pottere1**,_ Lifes-Better-Blonde_, **the amyrlin seat**, _Grace of Masbolle_, and **AmethystDreamer**. Special thanks to _Moony's Shady Lady_ for requesting this chapter.

_**Side note**_- words that are both italicized and underlined are actions

**Disclaimer- If you think these characters are mine, you need to see a doctor because you are delusional. If you think the stupidity is mine, then congratulations! you got something right! Woo-hoo! To sum it up, the stupidity is mine, while the characters, sadly, are not.**

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10 things our favorite knights wouldn't be caught dead saying

(Gods and Goddesses Edition)

**Mithros**- OOH! FLOWERS!! Why can't I be the god of flowers instead of warriors and war? War and stuff is just ICKY!! --_makes crown of flowers_--

**The Goddess**- Uggh! Those women are so WHINY!! Why can't they just be good little girls and go to the convent or whatever it is they do?

**The Graveyard Hag**- I WANT MY MOMMY!! WAAAH!!--_cries, and sniffles_--

**Kyprioth**- Does anyone want the Copper Isles? I don't like the attention anymore.

**Weiryn**- Sorry, but I'm a vegetarian. I think eating animals is disgusting. I don't eat animals, I just hunt them!!

**Sakuyo**- WHY WON'T ANYONE BELIEVE ME?! FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE, I'M SERIOUS!!

**Gainel**- LET THERE BE NIGHTMARES!! MUAHAHAHA!! --_gives everyone nightmares about opera and yodeling_--

**The Black God**- You know what?? I don't want to be merciful anymore! For once in my life, I want to be bad!!--_puts on leather outfit and gets on motorcycle_--

**Uusoae**- OH MY GOSH!! You did NOT just mess up my room!! I just spent all day organizing it!!

**The Badger**- I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up, hear me shout. Just tip me over and pour me out!--_does the dance_--

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(A/N-What'd you think? By now, I think you know the drill. I was crazy when I wrote this. Next chapter's filled with stuff people suggested I'd do: animals, villains, parents, etc..)

P.S.-To whom it may concern, the Graveyard Hag is the patron goddess of Carthak. Kyprioth is the Trickster God and the patron of the Copper Isles. Sakuyo is a trickster god of the Yamani Isles. Gainel is the Dream King. Uusoae is the Queen of Chaos.

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	5. Things people suggested

Sorry it took so long!! This chapter is extra long because of all the suggestions and I had trouble with some people. Thanks to all my reviewers:

**Missouri Wildcat**, _Lady Sapphirea_, **tricksterslioness**,_ Happily-Spaztic_, **Phoenix Fanatic**, _pronsies.lady_, **Queen of the Bobs**, _silvericedrop_, **GuitarBlonde**, _stardust718_, **anon**, _pottere1_, **epobbp**, _Lady Zarobiti_, **AmethystDreamer**,_ lilynx_, **Duani of the Copper Isles**, _SOPROL_, **fcynic.in.a.fishbowl**, and _Plain Jane is a Vampire_. Special thanks to people who gave me ideas, you are mentioned next to what you suggested.

HONORABLE MENTION goes to **Lady Sapphirea **and **cynic.in.a.fishbowl** for sending me stuff they made for the final chapter.

**Side note- **things both underlined and italicized are actions and numbers in parentheses mean there's a note that goes there.

**A/N- the bold letters below are the people who suggested these things. Those people did NOT write these. That will be next chapter.**

**Disclaimer- I own nothing and everything at the same time. You decide which is mine and which isn't . And if you decide wrong? Well, you will be in big trouble.**

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10 things our favorite knights wouldn't be caught dead saying

(Things people suggested Edition)

There are a total of 60 in this chapter

_**People missed in the Circle chapter**_- **silvericedrop**

Dedicate Gorse- FOOD, FOOD, FOOD!! AAH!! GIANT BROCOLLI MEN! RUN AWA….—_is mobbed by broccoli men_—

Ben Ladradun- The water!! IT BURNS!!

Zhegorz Fiavrus- —_talks to imaginary friend_—I'm not crazy!! Did you hear that Mr. Snuffles? I'M NOT CRAZY!!

Duke Vedris IV- OOH! A party!! What's it for?? OMG, I have to get ready!!

Evumeimei Dingzai(Evvy)- I want a gang, I demand a gang, I NEED A GANG!!

Ishabal Ladyhammer-Double, double, toil and trouble. Fire burn and cauldron bubble!!—_cackle_— (Shakespeare)

Quenaill Shieldsman- Her majesty?? Why would I want to be with her? She's a —_BEEP_—!!

Pershan fer Roth- I'm a LOSER!! A LYING, CHEATING **LOSER!!**

Jorality Bancanor- I'd rather be quiet, and stay at home! I HATE being active and learning from that poor excuse for a cook, Olennika Potcracker!!

Niamara Banacor- AWESOME!! Come on everybody let's go PAR-TAY!!

Kolborn Bancanor- OOOOH!! I want this, and I want that. OH!! Just wrap everything up, I'll take it all!!

Matazi Bancanor- AAAH!! MY HAIR!! IT'S _**RUINED**_!!

**

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_The Trickster's books_**- **Queen of the Bobs / prongsies.lady / lilynx / Duani of the Copper Isles**

Alianne of Pirate's Swoop(Aly)- Spying?? As if!! Who'd wanna do that?? It's so STUPID!!

Saraiyu Balitang(Sarai)- Swords?? Attention?? Why would I want any of that?? That's Dove's territory!

Dovasary Balitang(Dove)- Ooh!! Aah!! Look at all the boys!! Aren't they gorgeous??

Winnamine Balitang- Love? My children don't need _love_. What they _need _are rich husbands!!

Nawat Crow- Nestlings? Now? Why? Too much responsibility for me!!

Ulasim Dodeka- Why's everyone so stiff?? Everyone needs to CHILL OUT!! All work and no play makes everything _boring_.

Mequen Balitang- I want the throne!! GIVE ME THE THRONE!!

Ochobu Dodeka- The babies are so cute!! When do I get _more_ grandchildren?? WHEN??—_Ulasim cowers in a corner_—

Taybur Sibigat- DUTY?! Pfft!! —_blows raspberry_— Where'd you get that idea??

**

* * *

_Animals_** (Just pretend they can talk)- **Phoenix Fanatic / stardust718 / epobbp **

Cloud- Quack! Quack! Quack!

Peachblossom- I solemnly swear that I will NEVER bite ANYONE ever again!! It's no fun any more!!

Faithful / Pounce- I'm just a cat, what would I know? It's mortals that know everything!!

Zek- Keys suck!! Go cages!! WOOH!!

Brokefang- This is unacceptable!! If you cannot walk on two legs, like two-leggers then you are no pack of mine!! —_walks away with a really weird swagger_—

Jump- AAH!! A CAT!! RUN AWAY!! —_whimpers and runs away_—

Scrap- I want to give up exploring, it's no fun anymore. OOH! My bath is next, YAY!!

Teeu- Fear? Who'd want to smell fear?? It's DISGUSTING!!

Spots(Numair's horse)- AWWW!! Why do _I_ have to carry him?? You know what? —_dumps Numair to the ground and gallops off_—WEEEE!! WOOH, YEAHHHH!! FREEDO. . . . . aww Daine!!—_Daine drags him back to Numair_—

**

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_The Parents of Alanna, Daine, and Kel_**- **Phoenix Fanatic**

Alan of Trebond Sr.-What's with all the books?? Everywhere I go all is see is BOOKS!! I want to see _MAGIC_, not BOOKS!!

Sarra Beneksri- Why, in your sick state, you simply _must_ go climb a mountain!! No buts, do it!!

(1)

Piers of Mindelan- But I wanna go to _Tortall_!! I wanna go NOW!!—_stamps foot on ground like a 3 year old_—

Ilane of Mindelan- But I don't want to go to the healers!! I'm fine really!! —_struggles and gets hit on the head with a fan for resisting a healing_—OWW!! What was that for??

**

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_Villains and evil people_**- **GuitarBlonde / stardust718**

Duke Roger- I don't want the throne or revenge!! All I want is a wardrobe full of outfits that are either hot pink or very frilly!!

King Maggur- My soul?? Oh, _that_. I sold that to some guy a long time ago. For what, you ask? For the throne and those machines, of course!! —_a gasp is heard from the audience_—

Blayce- I don't want the protection of powerful people anymore, I am perfectly capable of defending myself!!

Ozorne- —_the tune of theme song of Spongebob Squarepants starts playing_— Who is a Carthaki with a death wish? Odious Ozorne!! Who has the looks, and the brains of a fish? Odious Ozorne!! If you looked for an idiot, you have found one. Odious Ozorne!! I'm stupid and ugly, as you can see!! Odious Ozorne!! Odious Ozorne!! Odious Ozorne!! Odious… Ozorne!!

Deirdry Noll- I don't _deserve_ power and riches!! All I deserve is a jail cell.

Yolane of Dunlath- And you think I want riches, why?? In case you haven't noticed, I _want_ to be poor!!

Delia of Eldorne- I'd like to give up my lands and become a commoner. Furthermore, I'd like my lands to go to Alanna of Trebond.

Princess Josiane of the Copper Isles- —_sings_—There was a man who had a dog, and Bingo was his name-o! B-I-N-G-O, B-I-N-G-O, B-I-N-G-O, and Bingo was his name-o!!

Imajane Jimajen- Being ruler of the Copper Isles is _sooo_ overrated!!

Bronau Jimajen- Who care's about the regency? I certainly don't.

**

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_The Conté royal family, the emperor of the Yamani Islands_**- **GuitarBlonde / Lady Zarobiti**

King Jasson of Conté- War sucks, does anyone want the land I got from them? Here, for Scanra, I give the northern half of Tortall and to Galla and Tusaine, the right half. Carthak can have the rest. Thank you very much!!

King Roald of Conté- MAKE WAR, NOT PEACE!! HAHAHAHAHA!

Queen Lianne of Conté- I'm queen of the world!! Queen of the wor…

(2)

Queen Thayet of Conté- Female WARRIORS?? You're kidding right? RIGHT?!

Princess Shinkokami- War?? Bah!! Why should I care about such trifling matters?? I need to figure out what to do about my hair!!—_looks down her nose at you_—

The Emperor of the Yamani Islands- WAAH!! —_cries_— HAHAHA!! —_laughs_— GRRR!! —_scowls_—

**

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_Shangs_**- **GuitarBlonde**

Liam Ironarm, the Shang Dragon- Magic! Magic! Show me more!! EEEH!!—_claps hands and squeals_—

Kylaia al Jmaa, the Shang Unicorn-The ostrich?? HAHAHAHA!! What a stupid animal!!

(3)

Eda Bell, the Shang Wildcat- AAH, my BACK!! —_clutches back_— What's an old lady to do??

Hakuin Seastone, the Shang Horse- So this is how you... OOH A BUTTERFLY!! —_giggles and chases the butterfly_—

**

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_The Queen's Riders_**- **Lady Zarobiti**

Onua Chamtong- MALE POWER!! DUDES ROCK!!

Buri Tourakom- OMG!! Look at that dress!! I simply must have it to wear to the ball tomorrow!! You know how I love balls!!

Evin Larse- —_song starts to play, with Evin singing in a high voice_—Oh I wish I were an Oscar Mayer wiener. That is what I'd truly like to be. For if I were an Oscar Mayer wie-ner, everyone would be in love with me!!

Miri- Beans, beans, the magical fruit!! The more you eat, the more you TOOT!!

**

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_Beka's Dogs_**- **lilynx**

Matthias Tunstall- I HATE PUPPIES!! All they do is get in the way!! AARGH!!

Clara Goodwin- What's the point of being a Dog?? Rushers are way awesomer!!(4)

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(1)Weiryn's been done

(2)Jon's been done and Roald have been done, and I didn't do the other royal children because they aren't mentioned enough for me to do this, I have no idea what their personalities are so I can't do the opposite.

(3)If you're wondering why Kylaia is in there, I got enough of her personality to be able to do this from TP's short story "Student of Ostriches." The story can be found in _Young Warriors,_ a collection of short stories that TP helped edit.

(4)this was on purpose, I know awesomer is not a word

A/N- Well? What do you think? Some of the parts were just things that popped into my head that I remembered from my childhood. I bet if you asked a first grader, they could tell you about those parts. You know what I'll do if I don't get reviews. Send me a PM if you don't know who any characters are. Oh, and 1 more thing, READ THE NOTE BELOW, OR ELSE!! IF I FIND OUT YOU DIDN'T READ IT, I WILL BE REALLY MAD, MAYBE EVEN MAD ENOUGH TO DELETE!! (there is insanity in my family, but what I said is totally true)


	6. Readers'

Thanks to everyone who reviewed- Aster Uchiha, Orohippus, Kaisliana, ., Tortall Tribe Freak, Lady Sapphirea, Olive Hills, Down by... the Lake, Darking Girl, Me(whoever you are), stardust718, guitarblonde, CryptoSquirrel, Missouri Wildcat, xXBeetle Of DestinyXx, Rukie, qotw, Phoenix Fanatic, flyaway6, dhhj, Duani of the Copper Isles, and SongOfSilk

THE HALL OF FAME- **Lady Sapphirea, ., Orohippus, Tortall Tribe Freak, Down by... the Lake, Darking Girl, Phoenix Fanatic, AmethystDreamer, claireythefairy, GreyKitten, Nikokami, someone,** **Cruel Irony, SMARTALIENQT, immoralsililo, Happily-Spaztic, Star Wars nut, fairydustandcansofspam, don't got one, hyper-girlxoxo, MoonRose91, Down By... the Bay, AliaraGen, chocolate thimble, ****VampireWolf0131**

(A/N-I just want you guys to know this is my favorite chapter. The ones in bold letters are the authors. And things both italicized and underlined are actions.)

**_Disclaimer_**- This time, even the stupidity isn't mine. Everything you see in this chapter belongs to someone else. Yay!

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10 things our favorite knights wouldn't be caught dead saying

(Readers' Edition)

There are 100 in this chapter and 1 conversation

newest additions- see next chapter

**Lady Sapphirea**

Imajane- I don't want to be royal. I'd rather be a commoner who doesn't have to wear gorgeous clothes all the time.

Taybur- I hate that Dunevon brat. I am so glad he drowned.

Neal- Kel I love you. Marry me!

Delia- I wish boys wouldn't stare at me all the time. It makes me feel uncomfortable —_cowers in corner_—

Ulasim- I wish we didn't have to win the Copper Isles back for the raka. I don't care about them and it's a waste of time.

Aly- Da, do I have to be a spy? It's boring, I'd rather go to the ball.

Beka- Rosto please kiss me. I don't care you're a cove.

**.**

Neal- ARGH! Blood! I faint at the sight of blood!

Kel- AURGH —_screams_— I broke a nail!

Joren- Kel, my beloved!

**Orohippus**

Imajane- Mourning is required for a full year after any death.

**Tortall Tribe Freak **

Sarralyn- I HATE SHAPE CHANGING!

Alanna- Sure Aly can be a spy. Why would I want her to be a knight.?

Dom- I HATE KEL!

Kel- —_starts crying_— I want my Mummy!

Kel- Neal is the best poet ever!

Beka- —_screams_— Somebody help me, there's a giant angry beast! —_a kitten  
mews_—

Owen- —_says nothing_—

Lalasa- Hey, good looking!

**Down by... the Lake!**

Haname- You know what? I think shy people are silly! I mean, why don't you go out there and be yourself? While you're at it, swing your hips, girl!

Horse-Lord Chavi West-wind ( god of belief or religion, among other things)- Who cares about the gods? They're all stupid anyways! —_sniffs angrily_—

Kaddar- And once he's gone I will RULE THE WORLD! Mua-ha-ha-ha-ha! —_rubs hands together greedily_—

Keladry of Mindelan- The Yamani scare me! All gung-ho with their razor sharp fans and glaives. And that's just the women!

Mynoss (god whose the Carthaki judge of the underworld and the dead)- Hanging out with all these dead people is boring! Why didn't I get to be the Carthaki God of Life instead?

Onua- Horse-Lords? Never heard of 'em!

Owen- What's so interesting about Knighthood? I think I'll be a robber instead!

Princess Kalasin- Oh... I think all this fuss about female knights is BOR-ING! Anyways, who cares when there's an old man waiting to be married? —_walks away humming the Prince Charming song from Shrek_—

Starvation (one of the Three Sorrows)- Food for everyone!

Yukimi noh Daiomoru- OMG! It's SO annoying the way all these guys stare at me! Its no fun when they're all drooling over you! Anyways, I'm rather emotionless for a Yamani - what use would I have playing with boys anyways? —_sticks her tongue out at the nearest dude_—

**Darking Girl**

Buri to Thayet- I'm done with being your bodyguard. I QUIT! —_storms off_—

**Phoenix Fanatic**

Coram- Ohh, magic? I love it! It's so shiny!

Dom- And like, so after we paint each other's nails, can we, like, go to the mall?

Alanna- Low-cut, pink frilly dress, here I come!

Jon- I think I'll actually behave like a king! —_readers gasp_—

Kel- NO WAY! Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie just broke up!

**AmethystDreamer**

Owen- Aw man, another fight? How dull.

Owen- Bandits. Are. Da. Bomb!

**claireythefairy**

Gainel - (Anything - anything at all)

Dom - Ew! Cooties! —_runs away from girls_—

Raoul - Aggh! a butterfly!

Alanna - —_gasp_— I cut my thumb on my sword! —_sobs and sucks thumb in corner_—

Beka - I'm soo hot! —_flicks hair_— Oh, rosto!

Kyprioth - Stealing? But's that's bad! You should should get in trouble.

**GreyKitten**

Numair to Daine- What? You want to save your reputation? Bah! —_flicks hair_— Who cares!

Beka- —_singing_— I have lots of money, lotsa lotsa money! -_dances, throwing coins onto street_-

Unnamed person to Kel- You are a silly chit who's no better than she ought to be!  
Kel- —_bottom lip wobbles, tears welling up in eyes_— I'm so sorry! please be nice!

Jon- —_Towers over unnamed commoner_— How dare you speak directly to me! Bow, damn it!

Sarai- —_blushes_— Why are all of these people looking at me? Please make them go away. They're embarrasing me. You know I have stage fright! —_points acusatory finger_—

**Nikokami**

Cloud- Oh come here you widdle cushy wushy mushies! —_schnoggles da random little children_—

Dom- I'm sorry Kel... It's just that... I don't feel the same way for you as you do for me... you see... because... I'm in love with the Graveyard Hag... —_elopes off with the Hag_—

Peachblossom (with Eddie Murphy as voice actor)- Thats the way to do it! uh-huh uh-huh! I like it! uh-huh uh-huh! —_doing aerobics with Neal_—

Nawat- Fledgings and Sex are such bothersome things... Why did I want to marry you in the first place? Stop being a spy and be a good little housewife for me and STAY AT HOME! Don't you dare roam outside freely without my permission!

Aly (pregnant)- —_flutters_— But we loved each other! —_sighs_— I'm sorry for getting you drunk, then making you get me pregnant to marry me... I'm sorry for stalking and spying... I will be a good wife to my husband and stop being a spy... Lets run off and ignore Dove and all our little duties!

**someone**

Emperor Ozorne (pre-stormwing)- Set all the slaves free, free, free! —_runs around like crazy hippie_—

**Cruel Irony**

Duke Roger of Conté- I feel pretty! Oh so pretty and witty and GAY!

Alanna- You know, I've always wanted to be a housewife. The whole lady knight thing was just an imaginative way to get a good look at the court bachelors.

Rosto- I've decided to give up this life of crime and become a celibate priest.

Thom- You know, it probably wasn't a good idea to bring Roger back from the dead. But I really thought he deserved a second chance! Just because he tried steal the throne by killing my sister, the King, the Queen and most of the court doesn't mean that he's a bad person!

George- And I gave up being the King of the Rogues, why?

**SMARTALIENQT**

Numair(in RotG, chapter 7)- Daine! Is that what you think I want? _Sex_? Well, actually...um...yeah.

Brokefang (the wolf leader form Wolf Speaker)- I love humans! I'll even let them cut down the forests, and eat all my prey, and kill all my puppies, because I'm a nice doggie! Woofie! Pet me, pet me!

Yolane of Dunlath- Who cares about money and the king? I'm gonna be a Rider!

Yolane of Dunlath- Maura, dear, go play with your commoner friends.

Yolane of Dunlath- I WUV YOU, MAURA!

Numair- Yeah, I kinda, like, proposed to Daine, and now I'm kinda, like, married, but, like, who cares? I LOVE YOU, VARICE! LET'S ELOPE!

Daine- I really should have "listened to my inner feelings" the first time. I LOVE YOU, JONNY! I don't care that you're a king, or that you're married, or that you don't actually like me in that way, but I DON'T CARE! YAY! —_is dragged off to insane asylum_—

Alanna- Back off, Jon is MINE! —_gets in a catfight with Daine_—

Briar- —_in Valley Girl voice_— Like, OMG, I got gasps, DIRT under my fingernails! I'm, like, giving up plants! I'll, like, never garden again!

Tris- —_also in Valley Girl voice_— Like, OMG, I just —_gasps_— GOT MY DRESS WET! I mean, it was, like, my favorite dress, with the ruffles...and lacey things...and ruffles...what was I saying? Oh yeah, I'm, like, giving up...weather-y...stuff!

Miri-Look at de pwetty horsies! Oochie-coochie-coo!

Peachblossom- I love you, Cloud!

Kalasin-Why did I ever want to be a page? I mean, they get all SWEATY! EW!

Kel- I'm sorry, Dom...I can't marry you, because...I'm in love with Joren! All those insults and attempts to make me quit were actually really cute! I don't care that he's a pompous, evil, idiotic dingbat, because that just makes me love him more!

Tobe- Ah! A horse! Run away!

Maura of Dunlath- Who cares about Dunlath? All I care about is MONEY! And BEING RELATED TO THE KING! And FRILLY PINK DRESSES! Now where's my backboard? NURSIE, I NEED MY BACKBOARD NOW! WAAH! —_has a temper tantrum_—

Weiryn- Ooh, look at the adowahbul widdle bunnies! Awen't de so cute? —cuddles rabbit— Who's the cutest widdle wabbit in de whole wide world? Are you the cutest widdle wabbit in de whole wide world? Yes, you are! Yes you are! —_rabbit looks really weirded out_—

Weiryn- I hate killing poor, helpless little animals. And I'm the GOD OF THE HUNT! Why can't I be the god of vegetarians instead? Why? Why? —_cries_—

The Badger- Twinkle, twinkle, widdle shtar, how I wonder watchu aw! Up above da world so high, like a dwiamond in da shky! Twinkle, twinkle, widdle shtar, how I wonder watchu aw! —_readers applaud while secretly wondering why the Badger ever got to be a god_—

* * *

_Conversation between Ozorne (pre-Stormwing) and Daine_(From **SMARTALIENQT) **—_both talking in a dumb, bright, 1950's happy voice_—

Ozorne- I hate all birds. I want to kill them all! Do the words "mass avian extinction" mean anything to you?

Daine- Yes, your Imperial Majesty. I'll happily torture them to death for you, as long as I get a title and tons of slaves! And jewels! Lotsa jewels! —_cackles manically_—

Ozorne- You wouldn't mind if I killed Numair, would you, Veralidaine?

Daine- Oh, no, Majesty. I'm so mad at him because he ran off with that —_beep_—Varice. I don't mind at all!

**immoralsililo**

Numair- ARGH! MAGIC! GET IT AWAY FROM ME...—_goes and cries_—

Yuki to Neal- Why would I want to hit you with my fan, dear? YOU'RE WONDERFUL!

**Happily-Spaztic**

Aniki- Screw being a rusher—DOGS RULE!

Beka- You know what? Lady Teodorie was right—crime fighting is not ladylike. WHERE'S MY PINK GOWN WITH 10 RUFFLES?

Lady Teodorie(Lady Provost)- Sewing? Manners? What-EVER! —_kicks feet up ontable, downs wine_— BURP!

**Star Wars nut**

Dema (that police guy from Shatterglass)- Ew! Why do I have to look at dead people! Someone come purify this place so I'm not too close to death!

Owen- Jolly is a stupid word.

**fairydustandcansofspam**

Sandry- OW! I just pricked myself with a needle! Ga, I'll never touch sewing stuff again!

Briar (post Will of the Empress)- Sex? No way! Ew!

Daja- —_sings_— Boys boys be my boy, I wanna feel your body, boys boys be my boy, tonight. I'm ready honey, boys, boys, be my boy, I wanna be your lover girl... be my lover boy!

**don't got one**

Stormwing- I don't like war, it stinks. I'm going away. —_goes to skip in field of daisies_—

Griffin- I love you all! Wanna babysit my baby?

Spidren- Ah! Run away, there's a spider over there!

Hurrok- —_singing_— Lalalalalalalalalalalalala, oh, fruit!

Dragon- This is boring, I don't wanna debate or learn. Death to all the ape things—What's a banana?

**hyper-girlxoxo**

Kel- OMG, let's go and climb the tallest tree we can find! I love heights.

Kel- I don't care about you or who you are...I JUST WANT A NEW PARTY DRESS!

Kel- I want to take care of another wild, untamed, evil griffin!

**MoonRose91**

Alanna- Oh, what a pretty spider! I think I'll keep it as a pet!

**lady knight keladry**

Rikash- Who cares about honor? I hate the old ways! You know what? I think I'll join Ozorne, and Chaos, and everyone!

Diamondflame(Kit's grandfather)- Learning? BAH! Why would I want to _know _anything? I'd rather just lay around the realms for eternity.—_burns books_—

Flicker(squirrel from _Wolf Speaker_)- HEIGHTS? You want me to go on HEIGHTS? What kind of squirrel do you think I _am_?

**(More on next chapter)**

* * *

A/N- It's been fun writing this fanfic. Read the below note for future happenings, and some explanations.

TO EVERYONE- _**If you want to your own to be posted, just send me some and they'll be up as soon as I can post them on this page. It is never too late to send me any, even if this fic gets to be years old. If you think of one, send it to me. Doubles of the same characters are fine, as long as it's original. If the characters are already in the fic, also fine.**_

TO ALL WHO WANT TO REPORT ME- I am not hurting anyone, and I CAN write, this was just a fic I wrote a while ago for fun. The whole 'asking for ideas and new quotes' thing is just so that there aren't a million of these on the site, and so that people's ideas don't go unheard.

THANKS to everyone who's ever reviewed this fic, ever added it or me to favorites and/or alerts, and anyone who's ever bothered to read it.


	7. Readers' continued

**Disclaimer- **If you even read this, then you know it is not mine. DEFINITELY not this chapter, anyway.

A/N- You know the drill by now. All HALL OF FAME members are on the first Readers' Edition chapter. So that there will only be 100 at most per chapter, any new ones will go on this page, and so on until there's another 100. Any more coming from an already existing author will go on this page too.

* * *

10 things our favorite knights wouldn't be caught dead saying

(Readers' Edition cont.)

There are 18 this chapter

Newest Addition- 5 from VampireWolf0131on 12/26/09

**SMARTALIENQT**

Lord Wyldon, aka "The Stump"- Change, change, change, how I love change!

Keladry- —_sees a spidren calmly decapitating a helpless kitten_— Ooh! Isn't da widdle spidey so cute?

Kel- I hate math.

Neal- I hate books.

Ilony Cooper- —_dances_— I'm so healthy, oh so healthy, I feel healthy and happy and... ahem.

**Down By... the Bay!**

Dom- I pity Lord Raoul. I think everyone should stop bothering the poor guy with pranks; he has feelings, too!

Beka- Rosto, I want to join the Rogue's ranks. Where do I sign up?

Neal- Umm, what is pi? —_long silence_— Gee, I don't know!

George Cooper- WHAT! The Stone Mountains are throwing their biggest party of the year and didn't invite me! —_sniffles_—

Tobe- I'm tired of New Hope and Kel! Tonight, I'm gonna run, far far away!

Beka- I hate dust spinners! Every time I talk to one, I get all dirty... Ugh!

**AliaraGen**

Eleni Cooper- I don't care if you're bleeding to death, I want my cookies!

**chocolate thimble**

Master Oakbridge- Silverware? Nah... Just use your fingers.

**VampireWolf0131**

Myles of Olau- I HATE wine!

Alanna- Let's go to the roof of the world for our honeymoon, George!

Liam- I hate fighting! I wanna learn sorcery!

Daine- Let's watch that little marmoset drown in the water! —_laughs evilly_—

Raoul- Let us hurry with great speed to the Grand Progress! I absolutely can't wait to put on a lavish outfit and go to all the parties!


End file.
